You came back. Why did you have to come back? It is funny, because you are back there now, where you were. Why can you not just stay there and leave well enough alone.
Stop hurting people, those who love you - you claim you love them. Why won't you set them free? Because you are too selfish, and those you claim to love are your bargaining tools.
I know you claim you love those who love you, but I think your opinion of love is very different..and very warped.
You were right when you left, and I was wrong. Those you claim to love are better off without you - I should not have tried to reason with you, should not have tried to make you stay. You really were right all along.
But you came back - and now it is 12 months later. To the day, and it is all I have thought of all day. I think I am the only one who remambers the day. It hurts me, my heart hurts. For me, for him, for her, for them....for you and for what will be.
I know what will be, and it give me knots in my stomach - because I remember, I remember and it gives me nightmares, and I wake up in panics. Thinking, feeling, hearing, smelling. Remembering.
Those you claim to love will know the truth one day - they deserve to. They need to know. The past 365 days - have - I cannot put into words. The damage those days have done, what you have done to yourself.
It is true, history does repeat. But I am going to make damned sure it stops here, this fucked up narcissistic cycle will stop here.
I will always love you - but I will never again like you. I cannot.
I know you hate the word - but I am disappointed. He is, she is, they are, we are.
What happened?
"You do not wake up one morning a bad person. It happens by a thousand tiny surrenders of self-respect to self-interest." - Jay Herself
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